Leaving home to go home

I’m about to leave home in Brazil while writing these words, already heartbroken, looking at the faces I “need most, I want close” (I borrowed these words from a song that an Instagram friend posted recently, and they resonated with me).

Saying goodbye is always painful for me. I feel a lump in my throat while fighting against my vulnerability, even when the goodbye leads me to my other home, where I also can find faces I want close. 

So, I wonder how long will this lump stay stuck in my throat every time I come back from Brazil. Do the first white days get shorter or easier to handle? Then, I realized a new coping strategy, which I have been practicing for a long time actually, it just hasn’t been evident until now: to-do lists!

Every time I come back from Brazil, it seems New Year for me, like starting again. Even though I haven’t made new resolutions lists for a while in the New Year, I still keep writing my lists while returning to Canada. I love lists, and I’m a kind of person who adds a topic to the to-do list even if I have already done it, just for the pleasure of ticking it off! 🙂 I know, it sounds weird!

Lists help me organize my thoughts, like writing for my blog. They show me my priorities and keep my dreams and goals in mind. They remind me of chores and highlight when something seems too much for the moment. For instance, beginning a new professional chapter, registering for the gym, taking singing classes, starting a writing course, finding a new family doctor, or having more coffee (or drinks) with the faces I need more, I want close! 

As Bono already said: “A house doesn’t make a home” (I love this song!), but a list can make a new year! 

By the way, home is where my dogs are! 🙂

Happy New Year!