I got up and left

As you may know, I’m on vacation in Brazil, and between memories and a busy agenda, this vacation has brought me precious insights that reminded me of one of my favourite songs, “In My Life” (The Beatles).

The last couple weeks have been quite different from previous vacations. For instance, the town has grown, seems more beautiful and has many entertainment options. Even with my girlfriends, our chats went beyond career, relationships, or mental health. Now, topics like menopause, eyesight issues, physical activity, and politics have also been highlighted. The right and left have never been so evident and, unfortunately, a reason for breakon relationships.

I’ve also found so many familiar environments. However, something new happened when I got up and left. Many times, I tasted salty tears in my throat, and with a broken heart, I still remained. It’s interesting that I didn’t realize it unti I shared it with my sisters, who with sorrow in their eyes, said how sorry they were. (sentidas in Portuguese) But I was not sorry. (triste) No hard feelings, nothing! I was in peace, free from expectations.

Finally I’ve learned to accept what cannot be changed. I have distinguished myself from the other. I was just myself, my best version – someone who, for so long, tried to meet everyone’s needs, actually trying to please myself.

Breaking unheathy patterns requires courage to step away, to release the other’s guilty, and forgive myself. And in that quiet peace, with an empty chair, I found a new place for myself.

In My Life – The Beatles

There are places I’ll remember
All my life, though some have changed
Some forever, not for better
Some have gone and some remain

All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life, I’ve loved them all

But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as somethin’ new

Though I know I’ll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I’ll often stop and think about them
In my life, I love you more

Though I know I’ll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I’ll often stop and think about them
In my life, I love you more

In my life, I love you more