Listening to myself

Recently I listened to two TedTalks about emotions. They both focused on “negative” emotions – those that we are used to blaming for failing to reach our goals. A couple weeks ago I wrote about it – that we grow up in a society where some emotions are not welcomed – so, I decided to write more about emotions, being more practical and sharing how I apply them to my life. 

Basically, we should be welcoming all “negative” emotions instead of avoiding them. Sometimes we don’t have the foggiest idea how we feel about emotions, even how to welcome something that we don’t know. So, the first step is paying attention, listening to your thoughts or, as you would in a diary, make notes about when, where and how feelings occur, and identify the clues that trigger some of those feelings.

As you know, I am an English learner. It’s now been four years since I have been living in a foreign country. My current challenge is to develop speaking skills. While I was developing those skills, I recognized some feelings that were bothering me. Then I authorized myself to face them and feel genuinely vulnerable before those emotions. It was hard. Sometimes I felt a huge emptiness in my heart as I dove deeper and deeper to find the root of my feelings. 

Embrace your fear and, as you would to a friend, ask questions. Be open to understanding what the fear wants to tell you. 

My fear is talking a lot lately, and I have found out new things about myself – things that I am now using to face my challenges. I take it one day at a time.